I know it's been a couple of weeks, but I'm here feeling vulnerable as I share my heart today. I talk about being brave as a theme for my blog this year. However, I'm not going to lie. I don't feel brave today. Well, the fact that I dragged myself out of bed may be considered brave, but that's debatable.
I'm going to say that I feel like I lost my way on this journey this week. I went completely into panic mode for how God was going to turn a mess into a miracle- absolutely not doubting He could just not sure how. I was melting. This example may help you understand how I was feeling. I walked around a store in the section that had signs with all the encouraging thoughts that said things like, "the journey may be bumpy but the destination could be beautiful" Seriously I almost knocked it off the shelf. Then there was this tote that said "Life is beautiful, enjoy the ride" I turned it around. I know... am I 12? I kind of thought maybe retail therapy wasn't the way to go this time and went home.
I mean I was praying through these feelings and telling God I was scared and knew that the fear came out of anxiousness. I'm so thankful I have a tribe of women that I can "Marco Polo" and say, "Girls, I'm struggling." They are there to pray for me and lift me up.
Today, I opened my Bible to Joshua. I pretty much was in tears as I read through the first few verses as I was reminded in verse 5 "I will never leave you nor forsake you. Verse 6 - Be strong and courageous... then again in verse 7 "Be strong and very courageous...
So basically - God is telling me to be brave - not in my own strength but in His. Moving on through Joshua, I read where God wanted Joshua to lead the army to march around the walls of Jericho for six days. Then on the seventh day to march seven times. On the seventh day at the seventh time around the city Joshua commanded the army to give a loud shout; then the wall of the city collapsed so the army could enter. Now God could have achieved this in any manner. I wonder if Joshua wondered if this was crazy? I wondered if he questioned. Whether he did or not, he knew at the end of the day he wasn't to question but to obey. He did and God showed up in a great and mighty way.
If my current journey is like marching around Jericho - I have no idea what lap I am on. Listen, this weekend I pictured myself just sitting down and stopping and being done. It kind of reminded me of the time I hiked in Palo Duro Canyon with my amazing 4th grade team. I was determined to hike to the "Lighthouse". We made it to the base of the Lighthouse and I was done. One of my teammates said, "Oh no, you dragged us all here. You can rest for 5 minutes, but then we are hiking up the Lighthouse." So, that's what I did. Same thing this weekend. Sometimes you need someone to basically say, "Girl--- wash your face!"
Today I sat at my sweet table on my porch and listened to the birds who reminded me how much more our Father cares for us and ever so thankful for the friends who hold out their hands to help me up. So whether I am on lap 2 or the 6th lap of the 7th day, of my own personal battle of Jericho, I will get up and march and know His mercies are new each morning. He has promised to supply our needs and sustain us.
No matter where you are in your journey, friend, don't quit. You never know what lap you are on!
Have a great week! Be BRAVE (even when you don't feel like you are) Be BLESSED... and know YOU ARE EQUIPPED.
XOXO Stacey